Making and Canning Jam at Home (or 47 Different Ways To Die)

You hear “homemade jam,” and you think of grandmas puttering around a kitchen, talking to Tweetie bird and stirring a gently steaming pot, saying “Oh dear this” and “Oh dear that.” But I’ve been there, and I know the reality. I know the sting of hot bubble burns, the throbbing of skin-on-glass doozies, and the adrenaline spike of hundreds of near-misses that could have scarred me for life at the very least. Making jam is entering a world of fiery pain, my friend. Proceed with caution.